Do You Believe.....? I do..

People say: "What You think of During the Day, tend to appear in One's Dream"; But some things just aren't so.

Since mom passed away, I have 'seen' her;
During the most significant days -
1st - on the 7th-day
2nd - on the 28th-day
3rd - on the 35th-day
4th - on the 49th-day
5th - on the 100th-day;
6th - on the 1-year anniversary; all these between 3:30am ~ 4:00am &
the rest of the days, when I have a problem unsolved & she appeared to give me the light.

During the 1st ~ 4th 'visits', she hugged me, held my hands tight, not wanting to let go and of course crying; especially on the 49th-day.

Gradually, the 'visits' lessen and i see smiles on her face; she just wanted a glimpse of me and to hold my hands in hers, to make sure everything is fine with me.

This is The Greatest Love of a Mother - Never Ending LOVE.

God Bless ALL Mothers!

My mom has been watching over me.....

After so much of struggling - to call or not to call.

My mom seems to be watching over me all these while.
Whenever I have a problem, she is there to solve.

This time too.
I dreamt of the worst scenario, of more accusations, when i made the first move to call. And mom appeared out of nowhere, and she said:
"Xiao-Yee (the way she normally addressed me),
Leave things the way it is, there is no need for you to please any1 of them anymore.
You have done nothing wrong from the beginning. They choose to see things the other way and so be it. Just take good care of your own health - this is what matters most now"

Then I awoke, and it was 3+ in the morning.

A coincidence?? I doubt it is.

Thanks MOM!

Another Sad News - But I Am IMMUNE

Received a call from Young aunt 2 days back:
"Gma has got a lump in her throat. May have to operate. BUT we are not to know...."

Politics is everywhere, even at home.
I just feel sad for the old lady.
Sad - because her children are not united.
Sad - because they are 'bad-mouthing' their own siblings

This time, AGAIN, A told B that C said this and A told B that C said it's from D and D from E, and A said she will ignore and B told me A said we are not supposed to know this and ABCDEFG #&*%^@#... just when is this going to end - aren't they tired?? No - TOO ENG!

Of course, i feel sad and worried that at this age of 70plus, she may have to undergo the operation. But there is nothing i can do, because I am just the grand-daughter. Someone who once respected and visited her regular but gotten the most sarcastism from her.

I thought: doesn't they ever wonder, other than this niece, other than this grand-daughter, who else pays them such regular visits, who else bothers to call to just chat with them? So this is what it means by 'taking advantage of one'??

I told Dad about this and I also asked him: why is it that siblings have to bad-mouth siblings. Guess what my dad says: The pillar is not strong and there is no love in the family, that's what causes all this. Ya, my dad is so right.

God Bless and I hope everything goes well.

I have Done My Part BUT All because of the 'Bad-Mouthed'....

I always tell myself:
"To Forgive & Forget and Live with No Regrets"

After so long, I went up to pay gma a visit, knowing they are heading to China for
'Ching-Ming' soon. And so coincident, my 2nd aunt was not there. Perhaps if she was told I went up then, she may start to think that i meant to avoid her - Whatever la.

Anyway, i was greeted by the most unpleasant greeting.
First, critisizing on my 'chee-hairstyle'.
Hey old lady, I never ask for your comment on my hair-do and i think there isn't such style-name in the market as yet.

Next she started to talk about what i have not said, but started by the 'STARTER' - see what i mean - Don't ever think you can let the matter rest even after not talking about it for months - it will still haunt you because some people just can't let matter rests - so why bother to clear the air. THE more you clear it, the dustier it becomes.

There is not even a word of concern - about my health, my baby, etc.

The next thing that comes - is about my resignation.
And she simply have to add some vinegar in it by saying:
U have stopped work HAR, now your hubby can earn LOR, can feed you LOR.
- So what was that supposed to mean?
Only your sons can earn alot to provide for their wives? Others can't??

Hey, we are employee of the company, not slaves and don't think we are treated the BEST there anyway.

So much for doing my part as a grand-daughter and so much for my visit.

Thanks to the Starter and thanks to the 'bad-mouthed'.

At least i have learnt that everyone cares only for their own flesh and blood.
Let's face it, and accept this fact.
Let's not argue anymore as until the very end, only our flesh and blood matters mosts.

This is the world they choose to live in, and i respect their wishes.

At least I know, I gain more and am 'richer' - spiritually.

The One who started the Fire, Should have the INITIATIVE to Stop it.

Who let the DOGS out, should bring the DOGs back in.

The one who started the Fire should have the initiative to STOP it.
If unable to, call 995 or seek help from fire-fighters;
but i doubt there are many fire-fighters around,
More Starters in this world.

The worst thing is it seems to become my fault that the fire was started by someone,and i get the blame.

For nothing, words were put into my mouth and went around as if I was the STARTER.

Hey, you people out there, it is time to reflect and teach those blamers and not say:
You should have (done this), you could have (done that).
Or Maybe you wanna be the Fire-Fighter??

If people wanna go on giving me the 'bad' name, why should i really bother more -
To make myself sadder? to make myself guilty over their unhappiness because of something untrue which they choose to believe it is true?

Life is short, happiness lies in our own hands.
We can't go on trying to bring happiness to everyone,
But at least DUN BE A FIRE-STARTER.