Zero-2-Six Me (Life Journal ~ Part 1)

"Never regard them as an empty shell, coz you never know what lies beneath..."

Memories refer to people / incidents / events that have occurred at a certain point of time and it is 'saved' in our brain till a 'disposal' need. Memory fades, together with time, and gradually it becomes faint; as thin as the thinnest cloud above. Humans are gifted with intelligence, thus giving us the ability to analyse and to decide which memories to save, which to discard.

Just how much of your childhood have you saved??

"....Lorong Ah Soo - Kampong, coconut trees, rambutans, mama-shop at the front of our 2 bedrooms 'bungalow' with huge 'patio' i used to run around with Haw (my elder brother), Fen (my elder cousin), durians!! my bicycle, my 'very personal chou-chou' (most fragrant pillow ~ Can anyone forget that?!) Who was there - Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Dad, uncles, aunties, elder cousins, relatives, neighbors, ants, spider webs Eeeeeeeeeeee....every single day is so full of life! The commotions, the conversations, the closeness, the arguments, the laughter, the sadness......one of the best networking I thought that was.

...Changi - Grandma, Dad's brothers and sisters, chicken farm, elder and younger cousins, 3 bedrooms 'bungalow' with huge 'patio', neighbors, coconut trees, rambutan tress, ants, spiders, grasshoppers, butterfly, sparrows, worms Eeeeeeeee....'ku-ti ku-ti' :) hide-&-seek :)

...Awake, lying in the 'sarong', waiting patiently for anyone who comes by...waiting, waiting...my elder cousin, with all the kisses and cuddles :) "what a good girl, she never cries when she wakes up, she just waits quietly, patiently for whoever is available...She is such a lovely girl" ~ Yes, I was.

...I was sleeping (Lor Ah Soo), everyone was sitting around the dining table, having their routine evening chat. And I gave them a sleep-peeing demo - I got up from mattress, walked towards the room door, bring one leg across the ledge, squatted and supposedly 'pee' (Did i really pee ~ that I can't remember). All I know was I walked back soon after 'peeing' and went straight back into my dreams. Who said sleep-walking is not common? At least for me, it was and it actually carried on until my primary school days!

Things started to change when human strives for the best. Soon we shifted out from Lor Ah Soo, no longer living altogether. My parents got Haw & me a one-room flat - exact location I'm not really sure. The room was nice, Mom had a curtain straight across the unit, acting as a divider for living room and bedroom. The place was small but we were happy. What happen to the rest of my relatives ~ this portion remained unfound.

Not long after, we shifted again. This time to Ang Mo Kio - a 3 bedroom flat where we stayed till now. I guessed I was about 4 ~ 5yrs old then as I remembered Haw, Fen & me were taken care by our grandparent who also got a flat in Ang Mo Kio. My grandparent have 7 children: 5 girls + 2 boys; a twin girls for the 1st two, followed by another girl, then 2 boys and lastly, 2 girls. At that time, the 1st three were married; each bought a flat in Ang Mo Kio, the 2 boys were both married and sailing then and the other 2 girls still studying & courting.

That was probably the best time of my childhood. We were like 3 musketeers - we played together, sleep together, had our meals together - it was the best memories. Haw was the eldest, and Fen & me would always mimic whatever he does. He would sit himself the other way by putting his head on the sofa seat and his legs up in the air (acting as though he is on the plane or spaceship). Fen and me would follow, on another sofa. And we would all pretend we are flying the spaceship to here and there ~ Come to think about it, no pilots that we know of seat the opposite way :) Anyhow, we enjoyed and we laughed over the slightest joke and that was real happiness.

My Grandpa would make us the best milo with ham and egg for breakfast. Come Saturdays, all their children would gather at their house and we would have dinner ALTOGETHER - Very rare would anyone missed the Saturday gatherings. Grandpa was the best chef - ya he was a chef on board during his younger days. And I remembered he once brought us to his ship. I was so young then and I remembered I was so afriad when I had to climb up the gangway. It was indeed a great experience I guessed not many child that age would have. I consider us a lucky lot - we have been onboard at such a young age, we enjoyed a sea outing on my uncle's yacht, though I can't swim, having all my relatives and cousins with me, witnessing everyone's laughter and enjoyment makes me happy! Come festive seasons; Xmas, New Year, Lunar New Year, special occasions; grandma's or grandpa's birthdays...there will be huge celebrations...Xmas trees, new year decoratives, presents, etc...

Amongst the 3, I was the good little lucky one. Everytime when my little auntie goes out with her boyfriend, Pete (now her husband), they would bring me along most of the time. Everytime my grandpa or grandma goes out, they would bring me along. Perhaps I was so tame then. I felt protected, secured and loved. Haw and Fen never bullied me, they loved me like the rest, though I remembered fighting and pulling Fen's hair once.

Even the tamest one would sin; somehow the devil took control of me and I sin for the 1st time when I was 6yrs old. I was already in PAP kindergarten and had all 'red' on my exam report card. Fearing that I would disappoint everyone, I erased the marks and replaced it with passing scores in blue. I thought everything was going smoothly after my mom had signed on it - I should have known better than that teachers are not fools. My teacher found out that I had altered the marks and what else - my grandma was notified, my mom was notified, everyone was notified! What a shame - I swear to myself then: Never again would I allow a 'red' on my report cards (and I managed to uphold the little promise I swore).

"Good things always comes to an end" ~ ...or perhaps it ended as we grow with a change in perspective, in our dreams, in the things we pursue...or perhaps it has never ended but we thought it had??

Events that have taken place in a child's life marks the life he/she will lead in the future. Things happen for a reason and it is up to individual to explore the meaning and learn through experiences behind that happy or sad day. It is up to an individual to find the way he/she wants his/her life to be, most importantly: to lead live with a clear conscience.