When a person is critically ill, what is the first thing that comes into their mind?
His loved ones whom will be left behind; Will they be well taken care of?
His assets; the % of which will be allocated to who?
Or simply BLANK?
It is always good to talk about death, to make plans with immediately family members after one's death, so that everything is proceeded as per one's wishes. However, if under the same roof, there remains just one elderly; their old-aged father or mother, how much of these discussions involved the old man/lady or have their presence been totally ignored?
One may say that the aged-parent(s) are too old to handle anything - perhaps provided they are senile. But if your aged-parent(s) are NOT senile, don't you think they still deserve a little of everyone's respect that they be involved in whatever plans that has been decided by the critical-illed?
Perhaps as a niece/granddaughter, I shouldn't be giving any comments or worst, no one asked for my comments at all. Why am I making such a fuss over things that doesn't directly relate to me at all? The children (of grandma) should know best. Now that uncle's cancerous cells has spread to this lungs, worsening his condition, and having said that, he has (verbally) informed his other siblings; my dad (being the eldest), his younger brother, his 2 sisters, about his will.
That was right of him to make plans so that his siblings can follow up and help fulfil his last wishes. However, in his plans, he seems to have forgotten that grandma also has a name to the flat and whatever he decides to do with the flat, it should be discussed first with grandma.
Whether the flat should be sold or retain for grandma to reside in, I felt that grandma still have the right to say 'To sell' or 'To retain'. You can say 'Grandma is already in her 80's, it is unsafe if she stays alone in a house' - but our grandma is still mentally and physically alert. True - I agree that it is unsafe for her to be alone in the house, but has anyone have a concrete plan for her then? The only plan now is: to sell the house and every siblings + grandma + his long-distance girlfriend, will get a share of it. The plan sounds good BUT is there any concrete plans as to where grandma will stay thereafter, who will take care of her, most importantly, is this what she wants?
Dad called me to ask if I have any friends in the property industry, saying that they have some queries about how the sale proceeds will be allocated. I advice him to go direct to HDB instead of going around the community. He got annoyed and said 'nevermind'. The following day, I called and asked if their queries were solved. He mentioned: Erm, grandma doesn't wanna sell the house but uncle insisted on selling.
Seeing the opportunity arise, I placed my questions to dad:
'Does grandma have a name in the flat?'
He replied 'Yes'.
I continued to ask:
'Did uncle ever discuss this with grandma when he decides he wants to sell the house and distribute the $ according to his wishes?'
He remained silent.
I further probed:
'So where/who will grandma stay with, after the flat is sold?'
Dad has got no answer, got annoyed again and said he gotta work now.
Which means to say, other than talking about selling the house and distribution of $, there was no plans for grandma as yet.
I really do not understand what is wrong with THEM.
Is it such a critical move that the house be sold and $ be distributed now?
Can't this wait till the day grandma 'leaves'?
Why do they have to make someone this old, feel homeless, and feel she is a burden to the rest of her children?
His loved ones whom will be left behind; Will they be well taken care of?
His assets; the % of which will be allocated to who?
Or simply BLANK?
It is always good to talk about death, to make plans with immediately family members after one's death, so that everything is proceeded as per one's wishes. However, if under the same roof, there remains just one elderly; their old-aged father or mother, how much of these discussions involved the old man/lady or have their presence been totally ignored?
One may say that the aged-parent(s) are too old to handle anything - perhaps provided they are senile. But if your aged-parent(s) are NOT senile, don't you think they still deserve a little of everyone's respect that they be involved in whatever plans that has been decided by the critical-illed?
Perhaps as a niece/granddaughter, I shouldn't be giving any comments or worst, no one asked for my comments at all. Why am I making such a fuss over things that doesn't directly relate to me at all? The children (of grandma) should know best. Now that uncle's cancerous cells has spread to this lungs, worsening his condition, and having said that, he has (verbally) informed his other siblings; my dad (being the eldest), his younger brother, his 2 sisters, about his will.
That was right of him to make plans so that his siblings can follow up and help fulfil his last wishes. However, in his plans, he seems to have forgotten that grandma also has a name to the flat and whatever he decides to do with the flat, it should be discussed first with grandma.
Whether the flat should be sold or retain for grandma to reside in, I felt that grandma still have the right to say 'To sell' or 'To retain'. You can say 'Grandma is already in her 80's, it is unsafe if she stays alone in a house' - but our grandma is still mentally and physically alert. True - I agree that it is unsafe for her to be alone in the house, but has anyone have a concrete plan for her then? The only plan now is: to sell the house and every siblings + grandma + his long-distance girlfriend, will get a share of it. The plan sounds good BUT is there any concrete plans as to where grandma will stay thereafter, who will take care of her, most importantly, is this what she wants?
Dad called me to ask if I have any friends in the property industry, saying that they have some queries about how the sale proceeds will be allocated. I advice him to go direct to HDB instead of going around the community. He got annoyed and said 'nevermind'. The following day, I called and asked if their queries were solved. He mentioned: Erm, grandma doesn't wanna sell the house but uncle insisted on selling.
Seeing the opportunity arise, I placed my questions to dad:
'Does grandma have a name in the flat?'
He replied 'Yes'.
I continued to ask:
'Did uncle ever discuss this with grandma when he decides he wants to sell the house and distribute the $ according to his wishes?'
He remained silent.
I further probed:
'So where/who will grandma stay with, after the flat is sold?'
Dad has got no answer, got annoyed again and said he gotta work now.
Which means to say, other than talking about selling the house and distribution of $, there was no plans for grandma as yet.
I really do not understand what is wrong with THEM.
Is it such a critical move that the house be sold and $ be distributed now?
Can't this wait till the day grandma 'leaves'?
Why do they have to make someone this old, feel homeless, and feel she is a burden to the rest of her children?
