The path for many Teenage-period are filled with meaningful activities and fundamental lay-outs into becoming a 'good' adult.
The path for me: was 'outcast' as it is not the norm.
Entering a new school is definitely an excitement for ALL. We never know what to expect and what comes next. We wish for good friends, good teachers, and also good canteen food.
Higher level students are also excited; the guys will be busy looking at 'new-pretty-faces', the gals will be busy 'aiming' at them.
Just like in primary school, I was 'popular' with big eyes, warm smile and smart-looking face - definitely a 'killer'; kill the guys and killed the gals.
Sometimes, being popular doesn't really do any good.
I was in the Pure Science class, considered the best stream in express classes; means tougher subjects like Additional Maths, Elementary Maths, Pure Science in Physics and Chemistry, English Literature, English and Mandarin. My classmates and teachers were good.
Everything went on well until one fine day....
The Sec.3 guy-students made friends with me, the gals were 'red-eyed'. And I knew disaster is coming my way. Soon, barely 6months into my new excitement, I was approached by Sec.2 gals, asking me to 'wait' for them behind the school compound, below a HDB. Innocently and a dare-devil, I abide and 'waited' after school. Minutes after I reached, I saw a big group of gals, few of the Sec. 2's and more from out-of-nowhere, charging towards me. And minutes after they stand in front of me, the group of Sec. 3 gals also walked over (they seem to be 'standing-up' for me). I stood there, speechless, not knowing what to do, and simply answer whatever 'stupid' questions that were put to me then by the Sec.2's group. What went through my mind then? These gals are really 'crazy', they just wanna let me 'know' that they are not to be trifled with and that I should 'watch' my steps. Am I in a drama??
During that growing stage; the vulnerable period, recognition is so important that every minor happening makes a great impact on us. Being as ignorant as a 13-year old would be, I felt 'protected', 'secured', and somehow 'loved'; by whoever that 'helped' me. I was wrong. This innocent naive thought was what later turned out to be a 'mess' of my life.
During the 4years in Secondary school, I started hanging out with the guys and gals (whom I regard as 'saviour'). And eventually 'lost' my good friends. I stopped all ECAs: NPCC and my most favorite sport and well-played NETBALL. I learnt to smoke and picked up all vulgarities, such being the 'norm' for me then, such behaviour being the 'requirements' to stay connected within the 'group'. Did anyone forced me? NO ~ I chose this path (which I regretted much later in life). Luckily for me, I wasn't totally senseless. I continued my studies and did so-so well for my O-levels (but I know I could have done better if I had not wasted those meaningless time with the 'group'). My results; 5 credits out of 7 subjects. I was allocated a place in Seletar Institution, a Pre-University @Upper Thomson Road.
Choosing the wrong path was the 1st mistake I had made. Neglecting my family members and ignoring their feelings was the 2nd worst and unforgiven mistake I had made. Come to think of it, during the 4years, there was so few communication between me and my family. Whatever that comes out from my parents' mouth, to me, was purely 'old-fashioned' and nothing more than against me. I was such a stubborn ass, thinking that everything I did was right and everything they say is meaningless and that they don't understand me ~ what I would now regard as 'S-T-U-P-I-D' and 'N-A-I-V-E'.
The teenage years is really a crucial stage in the growing period; Once rotten - forever rotten.
*If I were given a chance to re-live my teenage years, I would choose the OTHER path - the path without the 'group'.*
"In life we can live out our dreams if we want to - is true.
The one who decides, takes chances, makes choices IS YOU"
