TOday is Mom's 3rd year anniversary.
Since the day she passed away, though it is just 2years back, gma said under our Chinese calendar, it is considered the 3rd year (that's why).
All of us, except Nadia & Xavier who were in school, went back to 448 for praying.
I watched from our house kitchen while Dad, brother, Aaron, 3rd Aunt were burning the 'clothings' below. I felt that Mom was there (with them).
After the praying, Aaron & I took Alexis to Aglow Clinic for her 2nd dose of Hep.B.
On our way there, I told Aaron: "The greatest regret I have is not having a child earlier when Mom is around". Perhaps that was also Mom's greatest regret?
If only she is around to see me setting up a happy family.
If only she is around to see & hold Alexis..
If only she is around to see how well I have now lived my life (as a mother)...
If only I had understood her earlier.
If only I had treasured her more..
If only I had the courage to express myself during her last days...
I would have said: Mom, I'm SORRY.
It's all too late now (for her to know); perhaps she knows :)
And so, I have learnt to treasure and be more open with my feelings towards dad & brother...
On special occasions, I sent them sms, wishing them well and telling them 'I Love You (them)' - Yes, I really did, and I'm happy I did :)
I learnt from mistakes, I learnt that nothing is as important as showing our love openly for our loved ones, when they are still around and I will pass this learning down to Alexis...
